THE FORTRESS OF THUNDER, A SHORT REST

With a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder so bright and so loud for a moment Jacob thought he had gone blind and deaf, he, David-Jesse and Samuel stepped out of the three lightning bolts into a vast cavernous room with lightning bolts painted in what seemed like light itself all around. The older boys laughed at Jacob's open-mouthed and wide-eyed appraisal of his new surroundings. "Impressive, isn't it?" said David-Jesse. "How did you pay for all of this?" asked the younger boy in wonder. Samuel and David-Jesse exchanged an awkward glance. "This doesn't exactly work like that," David finally said. "This is not a place that can be reached or even seen from the outside by anyone other than Thunder Boys and those we choose to invite, and it is not even possible for a heterosexual to enter even under those circumstances. Bisexuals CAN, but it's a bit tricky. . ." "David, Samuel," said a welcoming voice. "Welcome back. A new member?" Jacob looked up to see another young man approaching, and when he got a good look at the other's nasal apparatus, he did a double take. "I see you like my snout," said the newcomer. "It and the rest of me are spoken for, of course, though." He looked at Samuel and David-Jesse. "Where's the other?" "Jacob isn't exactly a new member Nathaniel," said David-Jesse. "He does have the required nasal size, he is obviously male and he is strictly gay, but he's under twenty-five and the only guy he looks at on a regular basis is his heterosexual best friend. Since the same was about to waste him for it, though, we brought him here for some rest from homophobia." Nathaniel looked uncertain for a moment, then smiled and bowed in greeting. "Well then, welcome Jacob. I assure you, no one here will judge you for who you are. We have food, beds, anything you could wish. You can stay as long as you like, and even when you leave, just say one of our names and then The Thunder Boy, and we'll bring you back here in a heart beat." "Thank you," said Jacob, finally finding his voice again. "So, um. . . maybe some dinner with people who will only stare at me because they like what they see, a hot shower and then a bed under a roof with no homophobes?" "That can be arranged," said a new voice. Jacob looked up and this time did a quadruple take. This "Boy"'s, he couldn't call it anything smaller than a snout, was one-hundred percent of the width of his face, giving Jacob such a strong erection he thought he might need to find a bathroom before dinner. There was something not quite right about the young man's appearance, however, although he couldn't quite put his finger on what. Judging by the way the others looked him, though, Jacob felt he was not the only one who had this impression. "Matthew!" all three of the others cried with a mix of surprise and joy. "We thought you were dead." "I am,"replied Matthew. "Outside of these walls, but Luke and are still alive within them. We're not exactly ghosts, but beyond that is unclear even to us, at least as yet. The Fortress of Thunder could only come into existence after the first pair of Thunder Boys to die had in fact died." Matthew glanced at Jacob. "Just go ahead and pull down your pants and undershorts and masturbate right here. These walls will absorb all of the mess. The bathrooms are just for other business." Jacob barely needed to touch his penis to start ejaculating, so great was the erection Matthew's "Enormous Snout" as Matthew himself had named it, generated within him. He ejaculated for a solid three whole minutes, maybe more, but when he was done, instantly the mess on his penis was gone, and all of the semen had vanished the moment it broke contact with his penis. "I wouldn't mention this to LUke, if I were you," whispered Matthew in his ear. "He tends to be the jealous type, and absolutely NEVER call me Matt, because that is something that he is quite insistent that only he calls me." "So?" asked Samuel. "So this place. . .?" he trailed off, clearly uncertain how to proceed. "It's a refuge," said Matthew. "Live people can enter and leave as they wish. When the time comes to take stronger action against the gun nuts and the homophobes, the training will be done here. But for now it is just a place of rest for people like us, gun reasonables and gays. The time for action is soon, although of course Luke and I will only be able to work from within these walls. But for now, in The Fortress of Thunder, we can all have a short rest." Then Matthew gestured and a huge dining room full of other "Boys" with friendly smiles appeared at the far end of the room, luxurious bathrooms to the left and luxurious bedrooms to the right. "Yes," said Jacob. "I will stay here for a while, maybe forever." After the best really hot shower he had ever had, he got dressed in totally fresh clothes, enjoyed a wonderful meal, food and conversation wise, then lay down in a bed that he was certain for the first time in a long time no one had a problem with him being in. "Yes," he said as he drifted off. "In The Fortress of Thunder, I will at least have a short rest."

OF GUNS AND GAYS

"Jacob!," cried Lauren. "Stop looking at me that way. I"M NOT GAY!" Jacob sighed. He knew this, of course, but his best friend was just SO HOT, he couldn't help it. "I'm going out on a date with Francine, my GIRL-friend," said Lauren. "We'll talk later." Before Jacob could say a word, Lauren stood and the door slammed. "Not that there is anything to talk about," Jacob sighed. "I've got a crush on my best friend that he's incapable of returning." This had been going on for a year now, even though Jacob had only mentioned it to Lauren four months or so back. 'What am I supposed to do?" he shouted at the world in general. "He makes my stomach do cartwheels and my hormones go into overdrive, but he's incapable of returning any of those feelings." 'If you can not control your unnatural urges', the voice of his Priest echoed in his head. 'You should kill yourself. You'll burn in Hell either way.' Jacob sighed again. The time had come. This burden was too much to bare. He typed his parents a note and set it to go to them on a delayed email, when it would be too late to stop him. Then he pulled his revolver out of its drawer, got in his car and dove to the park. It was a night of lights and noise from all over the skies, as if God or the gods were setting the mood for the Final Act before his curtain fell. He walked to the edge of the cliff. Even if the bullet missed something vital, the impact would send him tumbling down the thousand foot drop, and he wanted to be sure. He lifted the gun towards his temple, saying a prayer begging forgiveness for everything, he wasn't even sure who he believed to, as he did so. His finger touched the trigger.. . Suddenly, there was a clap of thunder right in front of him, and a moment later the gun was goon, seeming to have dissolved into thin air. Looking around in surprise and he wasn't sure if it was relief or regret, he saw two young men with by far the biggest noses that he had ever seen, each less than an inch less than the width of their faces, standing there. "That was not a very smart or moral thing which you were about to do, boy," said one of the men. "It was not your decision to make for me!" shouted Jacob, suddenly angry. "I've had a crush on my best friend for a year, he's straight and our friendship is about to end. My priest said that I should kill myself if I couldn't control my unnatural urges. I've tried, and I CAN NOT CONTROL THEM. So this is my only option. My only way out." "What if we offered you another way out," said the slightly older seeming young man. "A place, in this life, where you will never be judged for who or what you can not help being." 'I'd say you were completely delusional," said Jacob. "Who are you, anyway?" "I'm Samuel," said the older looking boy. He pointed at the other. "This is David-Jesse. We're members of a group of people known as The Thunder Boys, and our mission is to wipe out gun violence a homophobia. As you saw, firearms are of nob consequence to us." "We'll see about that," shouted a familiar female voice from behind. Looking up, Jacob saw Lauren's girl-friend, Francine, pointing an assault rifle at all three of them. He screamed and dropped to the ground, but Samuel and David-Jesse just looked bored and sighed. Francine fired, but nothing happened, neither of the so-called Thunder Boys reacted at all, and Jacob could not figure out what had happened to the bullets. "Thunder Boys can not be harmed by bullets," said David-Jesse, turning to face Lauren and Francine. "And. . ." he gave a casual wave of one hand, there was a great clap of thunder, and the gun dissolved right in her hands. "You can see of how much consequence to us firearms themselves are as well. I suggest you stop troubling this poor boy, before we show you what else we are capable of." Lauren and Francine didn't need telling twice. Jacob heard their retreating feet moments later, having closed his eyes with the last flash of lightning. Then he opened his eyes and gaped at the two. "That was amazing," he said. "I guess life s worth living, after all. And maybe there is such a place as you described earlier." A sudden flash of excitement raced through him. "Can you make me a Thunder Boy too." His heart sank at their very looks. "Unfortunately not," said Samuel. "You are a male, your nose is eighty percent of the width of your face, and you are strictly gay. But you are under twenty-five, and you are not part of a committed gay couple, essential because no one can be A Thunder Boy, people can only be Thunder Boys." "I see," said Jacob in a dejected tone. "Then. . ." Samuel seized Jacob's chin and lifted it up. "But we can take you to a place you will never be judged. Our headquarters, The Fortress of Thunder." "What about my family?" asked Jacob. "It's not a prison," said David-Jesse. "You can come and go as you wish. But it is a place where people like us can at least get a rest from people like those two." Jacob only needed a moment's thought, then his face creased with the biggest smile it had had i four years, since he had figured out that he was gay. "You're on," he said. "How do we get there?" "Like this," said both of the older "Boys" together. They high-fived each other with both hands, there was a clap of thunder and then the cliff as empty. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE FORTRESS OF THUNDER.

THE THUNDER STRIKES

That year,for the first time, The Nut Case Rebellious Anarchists and The Gays Are The Scourge That God Hates Above Alls held their Annual Conventions together. "Well, why not?" said Fredrick Homophobe. "After all, we're both really playing for the same team." "True enough," echoed Wayne Moses Colt the Forty-Fifth. All was set to begin, as the two leaders of the two movements took to the stage to thunderous applause from all of the Conservative Crowd gathered inside, drowning out the voices of the unexpectedly sparse number of protesters outside. "I guess they have finally realized the pointlessness of fighting the inevitable," said Homophobe. "It would seem so," agreed Colt. Then he turned to the mic. "Friends and Allies in Arms against the Liberal Agenda of taking our guns and allowing fags and queers to practice their vile arts against the Order of Nature and Nature's God, welcome. We are gathered here today to. . ." Suddenly, the entire stadium went dark. When each tried to tell the crowd not to panic, that it was just a short in the lights, they found their mics were dead too. "How did those silly protesters knock out all of our electricity?" asked Homophobe. "How did they find a way around our internal back-up. . ." "Gun Nuts and Gay Haters, your attention please," said a voice like thunder from the shadows, it seemed like from every direction at once. "This convention is CANCELLED, as are all future activities of this nature. The Thunder Boys are here in force to end such activities." Suddenly, there were roars of thunder and bolts of lightning from every direction, and in each bolt of lightning a new pair of young men with incredibly big noses appeared. Colt shouted "Fire," but without the mic, his voice only carried a short distance. His followers, however,already had the idea, for a volley of bullets rained down on all of the invaders. However, they all seemed to have some kind of invisible force field around them, for every bullet vanished no less than what Colt guessed to b about six inches before it hit their bodies. "Nice try," said a different voice, again seeming to come from every direction. "But bullets can not harm Thunder Boys. They automatically dissolve six inches from our bodies." "How about this," said someone, and a knife flew at one of the newcomers. However, the strange being merely gave a casual wave of his left hand, the sound of a thunder bolt issued from it, and the knife also vanished. "We can do that to any weapon," said one of the self proclaimed "Thunder Boys", then he turned to his partner. "I thunk it's time we make our point a bit clearer, don't you, John?" The sightly older looking Thunder Boy nodded. "I think so, Mark." "Matt and I will help," said the younger boy of another pair. "Good, Luke," said John. "The more the better." Before anyone could say or do anything, all four "boys" swept their arms in wide arc, throwing Thunderbolts in all directions, and suddenly every firearm and any other weapon in the place dissolved right in its owner's hands. "Now," said a still different boy. "The killing ends now, at least by everyone here. No more gun runs with every lunatic criminal being able to buy any gun they want as long as they have money, and no more hate action or even hate speech against those of us who are gay. Anyone who can live with those terms has two minutes to leave this convention center. And make no mistake, as the door guards, Paul and I will know if you are lying. Not all Thunder Boys can read minds, but we can." "Right, Jeremiah," said his partner. There was a pause, and then a few people walked towards the door, and Paul and Jeremiah let all but two of them pass. "What are you going to do to the rest of us, or what do you think you're going to do, I should say?" said a husky voice as an eight feet tall man who looked to weigh four hundred pounds approached. When he swung at them. However, Matthew threw a thunder bolt before it hit Paul's face and the hand disappeared. "Any weapon," All of Th Thunder Boys repeated as the man cried out, cradling what remained of his arm. "Kill them," cried Colt and Homophobe together. "Wrong answer," said Luke. Suddenly, before anyone else could act, all of The Thunder Boys made wide arcs with both arms. Instantly, a tremendous thunder storm erupted in the hall. Not just A thunder storm, a countless number of thunder storms. "It's a Thunder War," cried on of the conventioneers as bolts of lightning clashed and struck at each other, setting fire to everything and everyone in between. The man went ablaze thee seconds later, and screamed as his body was reduced to dust and ash. Several tried to flee, but Paul and Jeremiah still blocked the door. "You chose this," they told people as they started to cry and plead fir their lives. Suddenly, there was a great boom as a canon ball was shot at John and Mark from somewhere. "They'll never learn," said John to Mark in a bored tone. Mark nodded. The cannon ball also dissolved six inches from their bodies. "How did we miss that earlier though?" he asked. "We only set out to destroy what we could see," said Matthew. "That must be it." THe other two nodded. Suddenly, though, Matthew cried out and dropped to the floor, dead. "How?" asked Mark. "Nothing struck him." "The bond," said John. "Luke must have somehow been killed, and since no one can be A Thunder Boy, as we already knew, I guess when one part of a pair dies, both die." Across he room, they saw some of their comrades cradling Luke's dead body, a knife that looked like it could have been concealed in a boot stuck through his chest, blade in front, hilt in his back. "They can be killed," shouted Colt. "Men. . ." But that was as far as he got. The death of two of their own caused all of the remaining Thunder Boys to erupt with such an explosion of Thunderbolts and lightning strikes that in seconds, not one conventioneer remaining in the tent was anything more than a pile of smoldering ashes. Moments later, twin bolts of lightning engulfed the still bodies of Luke and Matthew, and when the lightning faded, not even ashes remained. of their dead companions "I guess that's what happens when THunder Boys die," said Mark, weeping openly. "When we brought them into this. . ." "It could just as easily have been us, Mark," said John. "There are always risks when you fight for what is right, not that this does not upset me too, it certainly does." All present grieved the dead in their own way, but all silently vowed that Matthew and Luke would not have died for nothing. "Now," said Mark. "I think we've made our point here." All nodded, then waved both hands and a bolt of lightning engulfed each pair and when it cleared, they were gone. Moments after the last pair departed, there was the loudest clap of thunder yet and the convention center itself exploded and moments later was nothing but a smoldering pile of ashes.