THE DAY THE LIGHTNING STRUCK

"'This is not about intolerance, it is about tolerance,'" echoed in Isaiah's mind as he approached the alter. "Funny," he said under his breath. "Sure doesn't feel like that, with my church about to behead me and Zach for being gay." He glanced at Zach, his boy-friend of three years, his face just as sorrowful but defiant as he himself felt. "Th condemned will step forward," shouted the High Priest and executioner. "And place their heads on the blocks, since even the Prescription of Pain has failed to cast out the vile demons of the gay disease." Neither of the young men moved. They both knew that they could not stop what was about to happen, but they had agreed that they would NOT play along with it. "Drag them then," shouted the red faced man. Chains were thrown around both of their necks and they were dragged forward, resisting all that they could, but in vain. Isaiah saw Zach's head placed on one block and felt his own being placed on another. "Any last words of repentance before your executions," sneered The High Priest/Executioner. "Not that it will spare your lives at this point, but it could spare your souls." Both remained silent, having agreed to be defiant to the bitter end. He heard the ax swish up and. . . Then, suddenly, everything went black and then light exploded everywhere. Thunder and lighting roared and flashed within the room, and he felt the ax that had just begun to touch his skin suddenly gone. "They may not, but we have something to say," came a voice that seemed to be part of the Thunder. "I declare this sentence, this conviction and even this so-called court's authority null and void. This practice ends, NOW." "And who are you to make that call," shouted the High Priest and Executioner. "I serve The GOD of all creation. Are you greater than He?" "Of course not," came the instant reply. "But you seem to have forgotten the the greatest Commandments are to love Him and to love on another, not to kill one another because some are different." "Then who are you?" shouted a member of the Congregation, gathered to watch the event like the Citizens of Rome gathered to watch Christians being fed to lions at the calacium. "The Thunder Boys," cried Zach. "They've come to rescue us." "And more, if you wish," said different voice which belonged to a 'Boy' who stepped out of a lightning bolt just in front of them. "You both meet all of the requirements, so. . ." "I told you your nose was not too big, Zach," Isaiah teased. Then both nodded and joined hands and the new comer threw a bolt of lightning at them. "Now just a moment, here," said the High Priest. "You can not just come in here and interfere with our ritual." "Funny," said the first voice. "I thought we just did, didn't you, Daniel?" "Yes, David," replied the Thunder Boy standing before them. "I certainly thought so. But maybe it's time for a little more persuasive actions." Suddenly, there were Thunder and Lightning Bolts all around, and out of each stepped a pair of Thunder Boys. "God hates gays," shouted the High Priest, and many in his congregation echoed him. "God is love, not hate," came David's voice as he finally materialized before them. When he did, all gasped. His nostrils extended to at least three times the width of his face which itself was not thin, and his immaculately clear skin seemed to glow slightly. David nodded, seeming satisfied with everyone's reaction to his appearance, and then all of The Thunder Boys, even Isaiah and Zach, raised both hands and brought them down, and the storm that exploded within the building was both blinding and deafening. Screams and cries for mercy rang out from all sides. Then David's Thunder Bolt voice came once more, "All who truly repent of this court's actions, touch my trunk and you will be able to leave unharmed. Everyone else, and this building, are beyond sparing." Many did come to touch David's trunk, and all of them vanished instantly, except for one other closeted gay couple who met all of the other requirements, who asked and were permitted to join the ranks of the Thunder Boys. But the High Priest and many others, along with the building itself, were consumed by the storm. When ti was all over, Isaiah and Zach looked around at everyone, and everyone looked around at each other and at them, and ten they all gave a great sigh. Then Isaiah felt a smile creasing his face, and then he started to laugh. Zach and some of the other younger looking 'Boys" joined him, and for a while they could not atop. Finally, though, David held up a hand and silence fell. "Yes, today has been a great victory, but the greater battle still lies ahead. Everyone touch some part of my trunk so that we all stick together in the tremendous Thunder Bolt we're about to summon. I can make it larger if necessary." After several minutes of wresting each other and a couple of slight increases in size, which David seemed able to do with no more than a wink, all of them were touching some part of his trunk, Isaiah and Zach having been allowed to be the closest, in fact David had insisted on it, and then each raised their free hand. "Next stop, THe Republican National Convention," shouted David, and they all echoed him. Then he gave a great trumpet from his trunk, they all brought their hands down, a huge wall of Thunder and lightning engulfed them and then Isaiah could feel his body being whisked off the ground and into the wind, lightning and Thunder themselves. MEET THESE PEOPLE AGAIN IN 'WARRIORS OF THE STORM, THE CATACLYSM AT CONSERVATIVE CENTRAL', COMING SOON.

POP GOES THE WEEZAL

"And with that vote," said the reporter. "Open carry becomes the law of the land in all but three States." Matthew groaned. "As if there wasn't enough violence already." "Well," Luke pointed out. "Our agents are still working this thing." Matthew and their young guest nodded. * * * "Ah, you looked at my girl-friend the wrong way, buddy," shouted Clide, the burly man with the smallest penis ever but a gun big enough to compensate for it and then some. "Now you're gonna die, Buddy. You should have seen the rocket launcher on my hip." "Actually Sir," said Samson. "I was looking at you." The man's face went from red to purple. "You're a fag. Well, now you're really gonna die. You should have seen the. . ." Suddenly, the man broke off and screamed as a bullet from another gun hit him. "There we go," said a woman. "You see, more guns do make us safer. I shot him before he shot you." "You shot my husband!" cried the woman who the man had thought Samson was looking at, reaching for his gun. "If you shoot her, I'll shoot you," cried another woman from somewhere nearby. "Then I'll shoot you," cried another voice. Suddenly, the sky grew dark, and then all around there were jagged lances of light and roars as loud as gun fire, but slower and far more rumbling. "NO one is going to shoot anyone more this day," rumbled an incredibly deep and incredibly loud voice within the continuing rumbles from the sky. "This ridiculous open carry from the Republican obsession with being anti Democrat even when the actions it prompts are INSANE ends now." "The Thunder Boys," whispered Samson in awe. "I'd heard rumors, but I thought that was all they were." "Fortunately for you, Samson," said the voice. "But unfortunately for most others here, you were wrong. We are real." Then, beams of lightning struck the ground itself, each accompanied by a deafening clap of Thunder, and out of each of the jagged flashes stepped a pair of young men with nostrils so large Samson felt his already rock solid penis start to ejaculate, right in his undershorts. "Well," said one of the two "Boys" from the first pair to emerge from the beams of light from the clouds. "It seems we have quite a mess to clean up here, Joshua." "Yes, Timothy, it certainly does." "Fire!" shouted someone from the crowd. "Oh come on," said another Thunder Boy in a bored tone. "Surely our legend has told you that much by now." "It would seem not," said his partner as the bullets began to fly. Samson watched in amazement and awe as every bullet, shrapnel and even, to his utter confusion, six or seven canon balls, all dissolved six inches from the bodies of all of The Thunder Boys and then they all made sweeping motions with both hands, he thought he would go deaf with the thunder this roused, and every weapon in anyone's hands dissolved just as the "bullets" had. "Open carry is over," declared a "Boy" with nostrils that's width were One-Hundred Percent of the width of his face. "We will let one of you go, to spread that word. Samson, you will be protected. The rest of you must reap what you have sown; violence, suffering, and death." Samson suddenly found himself encased in a ball of lightning and saw the woman whose husband had thought he was looking at her flee the circle. Then, all of The Thunder Boys spread their hands towards each other. "Samson we send to The Fortress of Thunder. Next stop for the rest of us, The Republican National Convention." Samson saw the whole area explode in Thunder and lightning amidst screams of pain an cries for mercy as he flickered and felt his substance being drawn away. The last thing he saw before he was whisked away was all of The Thunder Boys swinging their hands down and then there was a great "pop" as they vanished and everyone within the storm was consumed by the lightning's fire and thunder's roar. "They were weasels," he muttered, thinking on the gun nuts that he had escaped. "And pop goes the weasel." * * * The next thing he knew, he was laying on a stone floor with three he assumed Thunder Boys, one with nostrils that slightly exceeded the width of his face, staring down at him. The two older ones, though, did not seem exactly solid. STAY TUNED FOR THE CATACLYSM AT CONSERVATIVE CENTRAL, WARRIORS OF THE STORM, AND TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER INTERMEDIATE ADVENTURE.

THE BOYS AND THE BULLETS

'Oh, yes!" cried Matt as Luke shot a huge ball of semen up his even more huge left nostril. The Thunder Bolt that followed was deafening. * * * "There's the signal," said Joshua. "Let's go!" Daniel nodded. "A kiss for luck first," he said, with which Joshua willingly obliged. Then they turned to face the GUNS, GUNS, GUNS AND MORE GUNS traveling show's tent displays. They raised their hands as if to high five and created their own clap of thunder, not nearly as loud as Matthew and Luke's, but loud enough to do the job. Instantly, six other pairs of Thunder Boys appeared. "Proceed as planned," Daniel told his companions. "Where are Thomas and Peter?" A moment later, two much smaller thunder bolts came and the two youngest Thunder Boys stepped from them. "Sorry," said Peter. "Tom and I each had some family business to take care of, so our powers weren't at full strength, being apart, so the summons took a moment to answer." The two boys joined hands for a moment and a ball of lightning formed between their palms. "There we are," said Thomas. "Back at full strength. Let's go." * * * "What kind of gun would you like, ma'am," said the dealer to the wild eyed woman who was looking shiftily around everywhere as if some all encompassing force were after her, saliva dripping from her mouth and making noises that sounded more like an elephant and sometimes a tiger's growl than anything that should be coming from a human mouth. "Something big and powerful," she said. "THEY'RE after me." "Who?" asked the dealer. She shrugged. "The government. The aliens. THe wild beasts. My brothers children." "Why are your nieces and nephews after you?" he asked. "You know how two year olds can be,"she said. "Once they decide you need to die, they never give up." "Well," said the dealer, thinking a moment, but then deciding that it was none of his business. "If you'd like an M. . ." Suddenly, the clear blue high noon sky went pitch black. There were screams from all over, but then came a huge clap of thunder that turned into a voice. "Your attention please, Gun Lunatics. This death show has been permanently cancelled. The Thunder Boys are here to rid this place of those who think gun rights should trump life rights. Anyone who wishes to abide by this new reality has exactly one minute to vacate this location. Then the storm will break." * * * Many people did flee, although not as many as Joshua, Daniel and their companions had hoped. A moment after it was clear that all who were going to had fled, Thunder Rolled and Lightning flashed all around, and The Thunder Boys appeared in a wide circle surrounding the encampment. "Fire," shouted one of the main organizers of the show. Daniel tuned to Joshua with a bored sigh. "They never learn, do they?" Joshua shook his head. "It seems not, Daniel. Although maybe they have not heard of us yet. Too bad for them." As they were talking, bullets and shrapnel flew at them and their companions from every direction inside their circle, but it all dissolved no less than six inches from anyone's body, and with the thunder bolts they all threw back much of it even farther away than that. "Bring the cannon," shouted someone else. Daniel and Joshua looked at each other. "Let's let them see what we have." The others nodded their agreement and all stood stock still as canons were pulled out, pointed in all directions, and loaded. "Blow them away," shouted several people from the show. Twelve canons were fired at once, but all twelve canon balls dissolved just like the bullets had. Then several pairs of THunder Boys threw Thunder Bolts at the canons themselves, and they also dissolved, as did the guns people started to reload when the thunder bolts hit them. "Has anyone here seen enough?" asked Daniel. "If so, you are free to leave. For those who do not, this "show" is about to get a lot more interesting and frightening. You have thirty seconds to start walking for the door, and if you reach it, we'll know you mean it and will let you leave." A large portion of those who remained started running for the door. "Traitors and cowards!" cried the head of THe Gun Nuts Board. He drew a knife and was clearly about to throw it at the back of one of his companions, but a quick Thunder Bolt from Thomas dissolved it too. Everyone remaining paled. "What is it you want?" someone finally asked. "An end to the thought that gun rights count more than life rights," said Peter. "To stop seeing events where people like that woman can get a fire arm. Let's have an NRA that teaches gun safety and is a shooting club again, like it was when it was founded, so I've heard. I'm only twenty-five, so I wasn't there. But let's have it stop being a hub for gun nuts. Let's. . ." Suddenly, he stopped as Thomas cried out as a fist struck his wind pipe. "That does it," said Joshua. "These walls are coming down." With that, all arms were raised and brought down, and the whole field exploded in flooding rain, roaring winds, lighting across the sky from and in all directions, and thunder so loud it seemed to explode from all directions at once. Over the roar of destruction, Daniel shouted, "Let's get Thomas and Peter back to THe Fortress of Thunder. THe magic of the walls will heal them. THen next stop, The Republican Convention." All couples joined hands, Daniel and Joshua also holding Thomas and Peter's hands together, all waved their conjoined hands to summon a bolt of thunder and shaft of lightning, and a moment later there was no sign of life at all left on the field. LOOK FOR, -WARRIORS OF THE STORM, THE CATASTROPHE AT CONSERVATIVE CENTRAL-, COMING SOON TO A BLOG NEAR YOU.

HEAR THE THUNDER

The Fortress was full of activity that night and for many other nights following. Finally, they settled on a plan. "We'll monitor the mission from here," said Matthew with a laugh. "As if we had a choice," Luke finished with a mirthful but a hint of bitterness laugh. Mark nodded. "I am sorry about. . ." Both waved aside his apologies. "If we hadn't died, we wouldn't have this headquarters," Matthew pointed out. The others all nodded, then each pair joined hands and gave a wave of their free hands, causing a lightning bolt to engulf them and when each was gone, so were they. "Well Matt," said Luke, turning to his beloved. "It is nice to have living company, but it is also nice to be alone again at last." "Except for the actual "boy"" Matt pointed out, since he was staying there in safety for a long time, he had hinted probably permanently, since no one judged him there for being who he was made to be but he was too young to be an actual Thunder Boy and single besides. "Yes," said Luke. "But he said he was going to sleep a while, and his bedroom is at the far end of the fortress." "Are you suggesting what I think your suggesting, Luke?" asked Matt. "Only what you already were, Matt," Luke pointed out. Matt smiled, then unbuckled Luke's belt and pants as Luke unbuckled his. "Stick it up my snout, Luke," said Matt. "My nostrils are big enough even for yours, even erect." The moment Luke's very large penis started ejaculating up Matt's even larger right nostril, having started spraying even before he even got there, but as they had told their guest, the walls absorbed it all, there was a tremendous clap of thunder, four times louder than either had ever heard before. * * * "What was that?" asked David upon hearing it even from where he and Samuel were, halfway across the. . well, who knew really, how far from the fortress they were, since it was not exactly a geographic and physical place, that could be reached by ordinary means. "Matthew and Luke must be making love," said Samuel. "That is the only way that we could 'hear The Thunder' like that." "A sickening thought that," said a mean voice behind them. They both turned to see Michel Fredric, the most ultra right wing preacher there was,standing right there. "You're time of reckoning is at hand," he declared., pulling out a rifle and a whip. "No," said Paul and Tim behind him, riding in on their own Bolt of Thunder. "Your time of reckoning has come." Michel whirled, shooting at Samuel and David and cracking his whip at Paul and Tim. The bullets dissolved before they even neared David and Samuel, and Thunder Bolts from all four corners made quick work of the gun and the whip as well. "Hear THE THUNDER!" cried all four Thunder Boys. "Your time is over!" "God will punish. . .Michel began. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning that none of them had thrown, but which came from far above, from a completely blue sky, struck right where he stood, killing him and incinerating his body instantly, but leaving everything else green and intact. "I guess that's The Almighty saying that no one should presume to speak with God's actual voice," said David. "I guess so," said Paul. "Next stop, The Republican Convention." All four nodded, threw their bolts of Thunder after each couple joined hands, and vanished. * * * "Luke," said Matt. "You're going to have to move to my mouth, even my snout's enormous nostrils have had all they can take, both of them." Luke nodded and moved his exceptionally large penis, the ejaculation increasing as Matt's nostrils widened even more, growing to nearly twice the width of his face. 'How much do you have?" Matt asked wide eyed and mouth agape. "I ran out an hour ago." Luke smiled, said nothing, and intensified his ejaculation fourfold. STAY TUNED FOR THE CATACLYSM AT CONSERVATIVE CENTRAL, COMING SOON TO A THUNDER BOYS BLOG NEAR YOU.